Breaking: Lia William Thomas declared with tears that she was quitting professional women’s swimming after being disqualified from the Olympics, stating, “No one wants me on their team.”
Michael Jordan’s demand that medals be taken away from athletes who kneel during the anthem causes controversy.
Breaking: Riley Gaines will regain all of his medals and titles after the NCAA stripped Lia Thomas of them due to external factors.
Carrie Underwood demands that the hosts of “The V!ew” shut down their show after suing them. “This is a show that deceives its audience.”
Denzel Washington and J.K. Rowling join Elon Musk in the “purge” of Hollywood. “The Complete Truth Is Available.”
Just after Beyoncé and the Dixie Chicks take the stage, Alan Jackson quietly gets up and walks out, saying, “It’s Not Worth It.”
